AJ

It is of note that per our conversation yesterday, I was told that AJ is 54 and that he is in "Sales & Consulting".  When we met, AJ told me that he is 52 and that he is a pilot for Delta.  He says that he is based out of LaGuardia and has a house in the East Village.  He says that he owns a property in Springfield, but his uncle lives there.  He also says that he owns a condo in downtown Philly.

AJ also mentioned that he was a fighter pilot and flew F-16s while in the Air Force after he graduated from Michigan with an energy engineering degree.  I worked at General Dynamics for some time in Ft Worth, who manufacture the F-16 and know a bit about the plane.  Upon questioning AJ, it turns out that he wasn't a fighter pilot at all.  He then said that he was an instructor.

Now, I don't know if Lisa got "confused" about his details, but my gut is telling me this guy is lying.  When I asked him to share stories about his work, they were a bit off.  Maybe he is being dishonest with IJL or maybe he is being dishonest with me?  Surely, he didn't tell you guys that he was a pilot?  If he did then why would I be told he was in "Sales & Consulting"? 

On Mon, Aug 20, 2012 at 4:46 PM, LisaM - IJL <LisaM@ijlcorp.com> wrote:

Just a reminder of your date:

Meeting: AJ and Ginger

 8/27 @ 7pm

 Legal Sea Foods - King of Prussia

• Address:
  680 West Dekalb Pike The Court at King of Prussia Building
  The Court at King of Prussia Building
  King of Prussia, PA 19406
• (610) 265-5566

We are so excited for you to meet them and hope you have a great time!

When you get there, as a reminder, check in with the Hostess and they will take you to your table.   If you are running late or need to cancel at the last minute, please call ahead to the restaurant!

Feedback is very important to our IJL dating process so please don’t forget to email me with your feedback. These are the areas we would like you to focus on when you send your feedback:

1. How long your date was?  from 7-9

2. What did you like about him/her?  He seemed to be very intelligent.

3. What are three positive things about your match?  1.  He was very intelligent and a good conversationalist.  2.  He was well dressed.  3.  ?

4. What interests did you have in common?  We have both traveled a lot.  We both would also like to attend the Garth Brooks concert in Las Vegas.

5. What was your first impression?  AJ is a very petite man.

6. How did the date end?  AJ went to the bathroom about 9pm and asked if I would still be at the table when he got back.  I said sure, somewhat confused.  When he came back I stood so we could leave.  He walked to the front of the restaurant basically alone.  I was not walking with him as I had on high heels and walked at a slower pace and he walked very fast to the front.  Once out of the restaurant, he opened the door to the mall and walked right through it BEFORE me.  

7. Did you exchange numbers?  Yes

8. Do you plan on seeing him/her again? If “no” please list reasons why?  There was no chemistry there and he was just plain ill mannered at the end.

9. What can we focus on for your next match?  My next date doesn't necessarily need to be someone from the suburbs.  I am thinking that since I can't drive into Center City, that I am getting fixed up with men out in the burbs?  Also, I stated on my initial criteria that I prefer someone 5'10" and above.  Shorter men are a deal breaker for me.

Connections

I met someone last night in person.  We had been talking on the phone and we really do have great chemistry.  When I showed up at the restaurant, I felt a bit deceived by his photos.  Clearly they are not current.  He had to buy a shirt to go out with me.  Little bit of a concern.

He says that he is a Rutgers graduate.  He owns his own business which is a janitorial service for office buildings.  Here is where things get sketchy.  I'm really not sure what to think.  He eventually ends up telling me that a lot of his clientele are from the mob.  He starts telling me that there are 5 crime families in Jersey just south of Staten Island.  He starts mentioning names and he takes care of this one's office, that one's office, etc.  He starts telling me stories.  Don't get me wrong, they were VERY interesting.

As a matter of fact, he is the first guy up here who has not bored me to tears.  Most want to discuss Philadelphia sports which I know nothing about nor do I care.  We actually do have really great chemistry.  I'm not at all attracted to him.  He has no chin.  And, he has a really large pot belly.  And, he says that he is 2 years older than me, but I don't think so.  He looks a lot older than me.  Ok, he's just not hot.

Not knowing the culture up here that well, I am a little bit freaking out about the mob stories.  I'm not sure if he's googled this stuff and studied up on the mob and just spouted it out?  I was told by someone that he said these things in hopes of impressing me?  Apparently, women from New Jersey would be impressed with a man from the mafia.  I don't get that.

Could it be that he was hand-picked by the "bawse" to do the job he does and now they take care of him?

I'm really confused about it.  Being in the mafia doesn't impress me.  I don't understand how it would impress anyone?  Isn't it a bit psycho to make up a story about how you clean the office of "Big Sal" when you don't?

Then, I go back on the website today to update my pictures or whatever and I see him!!  He has a 2nd account on the same website claiming that they wouldn't let him delete the first one!!  The 2nd account has different pictures.  So, he has 2 active accounts on the dating website.  Hmmmmm.

Next!!!!

Dumped via text

This is a first for me.  Received this text at 9:16am from nice man Mike:

Ginger was going to call last night but I've been thinking about this dating thing.  Between the fact that your ex is a jerk and my divorce process just kicked off I don't think we should keep mtg.  I'm not ready and if we kept mtg my heart wouldn't be in it which means it would be about sex.  I'm sorry and wish you luck.


Ok
#1.  He thought I was going to have sex with him?????  That's a bit presumptuous.
#2. My ex being a jerk is the reason he's my ex.  That doesn't prevent me from dating.  That would be the reason WHY I am dating.  I can't see someone who is intimidated by my ex.  That just wouldn't work at all.  If he knew he could get one in over my boyfriend, OMG he'd work the poor guy over.
#3.  I don't think there is a number 3.  I haven't responded to this text and probably won't.  I'm not sure exactly what to say.  I would have never taken this guy out of the "friend-zone" simply because I knew from the get go that he is not emotionally available.  He must have an ego the size of Texas.

Whatever.....

Nice man Mike

He's married.
His wife threw him out.
Says he's been separated for 18 months.
He hasn't told his parents that he is separated.
They were in counseling together up until 5 months ago.  She dropped out of the counseling and he continues to see the counselor by himself.  (insert raised eyebrow) 

His story is that he hasn't told his parents he's going through a divorce because his mom was diagnosed with cancer in November and is now in remission.  He also says that she has hired an attorney and he hasn't.  They are going to try and mediate through HER attorney.  Hmmmm.  No man who is wanting a divorce is going to agree to this.  When you are wanting to end your marriage, you damn well tell your parents.  FIRST.  And, you hire an attorney and get the crap over with ASAP.  You just want it done.

Momma always said there are 3 things a couple fight about: sex, money, and the in-laws. 

Long story short....he's done something to piss her off.  They have an 8 year old son and a 6 year old daughter.  He's very successful so I don't think it was over money.  Probably another woman, if I had to guess.  He talked a lot about how she was "angry" at her Dad over her teen years.  I'm thinking she's angry all right.  And, no wonder he thinks I'm gentle.  She's from Rochester, NY and is angry over her marriage failing!!  No offense New Yorkers, but you people sound harsh to begin with, never mind sprinkling anger on top of that.

I had another very nice dinner.  I had nice conversation.  I enjoyed his company.  And, that will be the end of that.  For all I know, he's still living with his wife and kids.  He sure wanted to leave around 8pm. Whatever is going on with this man, he hasn't got his walking papers.  He's clearly not ready to end his marriage.  I have no idea why he is trying to date.  Well, yes I do.

WHERE are the honest men?  And, don't say church because they ain't there either. 

Dave

Before I begin, let me just say that my ex's name is Dave, my boss's name is Dave and the person I was meeting tonight is also named Dave.  I kept an open mind after all people can't help their name.  He had texted me and called me every night for a few days and we had made plans to meet up on Friday.   Then I didn't hear from him Wed or Thurs.  So, I just assumed it was off.  Go to work this morning and he texts me wanting to know if we were still on.  I said sure.

We were to meet at an upscale grocery store that has a cafe.  I wasn't that excited about it, but ok.  I get there and the grocery store has a very nice pub!  Who knew!  So, I sat down and ordered a glass of white and waited for him.  He shows up about 5 mins late.  That's ok. 

We are supposed to be the same age and I was sitting there stewing because he looks way older than me.  I just kept thinking, he is lying about his age!  Well, he must've known I was thinking this because I am just that transparent.  Age came up and he showed me his license and sure enough we are the same age.  This guy looks at least 10 years older if not more.  He about fell off his chair when I told him my age.  He also could not believe we are the same age but obviously for a different reason.  Thank you Daddy for the genes (Grandma always said I favored the Elzie side of the family).  8-)

So, we ordered personal pizza's and then he said he was still hungry.  He had 2 Sierra Nevada's by then and ordered some fries.  We talked a lot and there wasn't a lot of chemistry.  He was just ok.  He's into manufacturing and operational management.  By this time, he's had a 3rd beer.  At the end, he asked me something very curious.  He wanted to know if I was nervous coming there and meeting him?  I said, no.  Did I look nervous?  He said no.  I explained that I don't really get nervous meeting new people.  I'm fairly confident and I can even speak in front of people no problem.  For some reason this question is really bothering me.  Why would he ask me that???  Ok, seriously, please comment and tell me if you have any ideas.

The bill came and I offered to pay since he is starting a job 2 Monday's from now.  He said that we would split it.  I said ok.  Then, he decided to browse the beer section of the store and wanted me to come along.  This store mostly sells imports.  He was going to "educate" me on beer.  So, we are going around and he is pointing to this beer and that beer and pronouncing the various foreign labels and telling me his opinion of them.  I told him, yes I been there, been to that brewery, been to that factory, this one is very pilsner, this one is very citrusy, etc.  I think it probably busted his bubble.  After all, I WAS married to a Brit, and nobody knows their lager/ale/beer better than the Brits.  I gotta give the ex, Dave, props on this.  But, when dude got to the Hoegaarden, he picks up a case and asks if I want some?  I said, no thank you but I don't really drink beer.  So, he puts it down and carries on.  Then, it soon became apparent to me after a couple of these offers that this joker thought he was going to buy beer and I was going to go somewhere and drink it with him!!!!  OH NO HE DIDN'T!!!!  Yes, he did.

So, he decided to buy 2 large bottles of beer for himself.  Ok fine, I was just ready to go.  So, we leave and he walks me to my vehicle.  This thing tried to kiss me!!!!!  OH NO HE DIDN'T!!!  I turned my head and he ended up kissing me on the cheek.  He hugged me in the midst of all this at the same time or something and I hugged him back.  But, really????  I'm so sure.  I mean, what are these people thinking???  I mean, I don't want to sound bad here, but this is "game" from high school!!!  I don't know about the rest of America, but this is a classic Marion High maneuver.  Now, in high school you may be able to swoon a girl with your beer prowess and woo her with the fact that you can actually purchase the stuff.  But, come on!!!  Really?????  <Insert my contorted face here-kinda like a Margaret Cho look> 

And, dear readers, I can hear you laughing.  8-)   It's just too funny not to document it.  Someday, we'll all look back on these little "vignettes" and have a big belly laugh.  My life.  Welcome to my crazy, lonely, adventurous life.  Don't you wish you were me?  Don't answer that.

 

Finally!!!

I had a nice date with a nice man!!!  Not one time did I say to myself, "OH NO HE DIDN'T", actually, I found myself saying, "OH NO I DIDN'T!!!"

I found him online and we didn't write each other but a couple of times.  He asked me out for Thursday and I said yes on Wednesday.  He looks nothing like his picture, but that is a good thing.  He is 6'1" and has blue eyes.  He just came back from a Caribbean cruise to St Thomas and he is nicely tanned. 

We have A LOT in common.  He is very well traveled and has gone to a lot of places I haven't.  The place which had the most impact on him was Calcutta.  His stories of his experiences there were very interesting.  He has been to India 3 different times (Mumbai and New Delhi, as well).  He has also traveled extensively in Europe and been to places I haven't, which I didn't think was possible (Dusseldorf and Luxembourg). 

So we met at a dive bar across from a parking lot.  Once we met, he suggested an Italian place a few blocks down.  This was a very nice place.  I haven't had a meal that nice in a long time.  I had the lobster ravioli in the most delicious red pepper creme sauce that had chunks of crab.  He had the spaghetti bolognaise.  I think he was better mannered than me.  I have no idea why I did this, but when the meal came I took a piece of bread and dipped it straight into the olive oil mixture instead of using the little spoon and putting it in my own saucer.  It was a minor thing but I was mortified at myself and did a mental, "Oh no I didn't!"  I think I lost myself there because of the conversation.  He was very aware of not putting his elbows on the table, etc.  And, I caught myself with my elbows on the table.  lol


He grew up in Michigan and lived a long time in Chicago, Northern NJ, Richmond VA and now here.    He currently works for a large well known company in WC and has 50 direct reports.  He says that he wishes he could go down a couple of levels with less responsibility.  I shared with him that I am not as high up in my current position as I used to be and it's great!  Waaay less stress.  He says that he has worked a lot and that probably contributed to his problems (I assume he's talking about his marriage).  He has his Bachelor's in Statistics and his Master's in Business or Finance (can't remember).  His Dad is a lawyer and he wanted his sons to be attorneys.  His Mom was diagnosed with cancer in November last year, hence the family cruise.  She is in remission and doing well.  I told him about my Mom.  Cancer is a bitch.  


We just had a lot in common.  We are both a little nerdy and intelligent.  Yet, we are both NORMAL.  He has a 6 year old daughter and an 8 year old son.  He gets them every other weekend and this coming weekend is his. 


He paid for our dinner even though I offered to pay for mine.  He was very much the gentleman about it.  He asked if we could take a walk (the borough is very busy with pedestrians as it is a college town).  So, in 89 degree weather with a million percent humidity, we took a leisurely stroll through the High Street.  He kept walking really close to me and wanted to take our doggie bags to the car.  I didn't put it together until he grabbed my hand later.  He held my hand.  I haven't had anyone hold my hand in such a long time.  He must've been a little nervous because in spite of the heat and humidity, his hand was a little cold.  He told me that he really likes my accent.  My guess is that he finds it soothing and gentle, and different.


After walking for a while we turned around and walked back to the parking garage.  He asked me out for next week and said he would text or call.  He walked me to the stairs and kissed me bye.  Just a little polite kiss on the lips (closed).  I also haven't been kissed in a long time and it really threw me.  I was not expecting that.  I was walking up the stairs to my car and he told me that he really likes my name.  I'm pretty sure my face was bright red and I was dazed. 


But, my big "OH NO I DIDN'T" moment came next.  I am in the line to pay for my parking and there are probably 5 cars behind me.  I had no idea that this garage only takes cash and no bills over $10.  It was $4.50 for my parking and I had $3.50 cash.  The parking attendant was going to make everybody back up and make me park and walk to an ATM.  So, someone behind me gave the guy $5 to cover my parking so everyone didn't have to back up.  I pray that it was not him.  I handed the parking guy my $3.50 and told him to give it to that person and thank them.  Of course, me and the parking attendant had a few choice words in the meantime.


This nice man's name is Mike.  8-)
I don't know if he'll actually follow up for a date next week?  If he doesn't then I had a really nice date that I haven't had in a looooong time.  It was perfect.  Everything a date should be.  And, it was so nice to sit with a male and not have him discuss Philadelphia sports with me.  Gawd, that is SOOO boring.  I like the way he was a gentleman, yet he was assertive.  And, if he does get a hold of me like he says he is going to, then I think I will go out with him again.  


PS.  You may remember that the last person I (almost) went out with who had this name was "crybaby Mike".  lol   Sooooooo glad that didn't work out.

Another one bites the dust......

How long your date was?   6:00 - 7:30
 
What did you like about him? Absolutely nothing.
 
What are three positive things about your match?  I can honestly say that I saw nothing positive about this man.  He had a horrible squeaky voice and it sounded like he was burping constantly.  He ordered a beer and drank it from the bottle at the table.  And, kept burping beer breath across the table.  He was a know-it-all, unattractive awkward geek....at best.
 
What interests did you have in common?  None.
 
What was your first impression?  I was so stunned by his patterned shirt and his patterned tie that it took me a bit to get past that.  Then, I just kept thinking, this man is NOT SEXY under that horrible outfit. 
 
How did the date end?  He walked me to my car and I shook his hand goodbye.
 
Did you exchange numbers?  Absolutely not.

 

Do you plan on seeing him again? If “no” please list reasons why?  This man appears to be psychologically unstable.  He went on quite a bit about the Republican party spouting off rhetoric like a garbage fed sheep.  I was quiet, smiled and listened to him and didn't contribute much until he asked me who I would pick for Romney's running mate.  I explained to him I don't really follow politics at this point in my life.  He talked about how we are going to end up just like Europe, bankrupt, as a country and there will be civil unrest in 5 years to the point of rioting in the streets.  He went on for about 10 minutes about how Memphis (where I grew up) is NOT the Mississippi River Delta.  And, later told me I am "disagreeable" when I said that sometimes earthquakes are strongest on the first jolt, hence aftershocks.  He told me that I must have cheated the government at some point by claiming an extra deductible or somehow otherwise being dishonest on my taxes.  Then he said I must have otherwise taken advantage of government benefits in some other way after I explained that I have an accountant do my taxes.  My jaw dropped.

 

 

What can we focus on for your next match?  I'm not sure who thought this would be a good match for me??????  What a complete and utter waste of my time.  Was this pay-back for my last match since I am unable to drive into Center City?  I found it interesting that he shared with me that he didn't have to meet with anyone from your organization for the one-on-one like I did.  He shared that he was told I had dark hair with dark eyes, and that I am 5'7".  For the record, I am 5'8" with blonde hair and blue eyes.  I have attached my pictured for a reminder. 

 

 

 

Just checking in....

I haven't been on here in a while.  Nothing really going on.  Regarding the dating scene, since the good doctor said that we "have different lifestyles" I started eating healthier.  I had other factors involved in healthier choices besides some critical nitpicking jerk.  But, the main thing is that I lost 20 pounds since January.  Me and Paula Deen!  I guess I should say thank you to the good doctor.  I didn't realize that I needed to make these changes.  Feel pretty good.  As a matter of fact, I am 15 pounds away from the weight I was when I got married.  Of course, I was younger and had the time for a personal trainer.  I'm good like this.  Meaning, I am happy with myself and feel pretty good.  I still eat chocolate.  I just only have a little bit at a time.  I still like Cherry Taffy.  But, only a bite or two once in a while and then only one time in a day.  And, if more comes off then ok.  If it plateau's and stays here, then ok.  I'm just trying to eat healthier.  What will be, will be regarding the waistline.

Regarding the doctor, well, it's his loss after all.  We can always improve our lifestyle.  He should have looked past the picture.  ;-)

IJL

So Lisa called and said she got my email.  She absolutely would NOT consider arranging a meeting between Jerry and myself anywhere other than downtown Philadelphia since he is coming from Jersey.  She also said that this would be counting as one of my matches.  I think she said that because she wanted to bully me into it hoping I would go "oh! well then I will drive into the city blah blah blah".  So, I said to her, oh well and shrugged my shoulders.  She said that they would definitely keep this in mind for my future matches and the way she said it was more like a threat.  More like a "you'll be sorry" tone.  And, she kept stressing that the city is their "main territory". 

Oh, and I did ask her what makes him such a good match for me.  She said that she didn't have the information in front of her.  Then, she stated that she doesn't set the matches up.  They have a "team" that makes those decisions. 

IJL - Jerry

So, Lisa called today and said that my next match is a person named Jerry.  She didn't tell me his age or anything else, only that he lives in Jersey.  So, she wants to set up the meeting in the city.  I told her I was not comfortable with that and she mostly ignored me going on and on about the valet parking.  I don't know.  My stance on the subject is why should I drive all the way into the city just to get rejected?  I mean, how is this guy going to be any different from the men that I have met recently?  So, I told her I am available June 23 and that is basically it for the month of June.  Then, I got to thinking about it some more tonight and sent her the following email:

 Hi Lisa,

I've given much thought to our conversation earlier today, and I am just not comfortable
driving by myself into the city.  Being new here from out of state, I am not familiar enough
with these places to drive my big SUV down there, alone.  I had no problem driving all the way
to Quakertown for the last date because it was off the turnpike, but I just can't do the city.
Also, I'm not sure that it would be a good match for me with Jerry.  I have a serious fear of
bridges.  I can not drive over that bridge.  I have anxiety attacks when I go over bridges that
tall.  I can not help it.  I can't deal with it.

If Jerry would like to meet me outside of the city somewhere or even in King of Prussia, I
am open to that.  But, I just can't go into the city right now.  Please bear this mind for future
dates as well.  I look forward to meeting my new matches!


She'll probably think I'm a nut job because I can't drive over that Ben Franklin bridge.  It is a very very tall bridge and I am deathly afraid of heights.  I break out in a cold sweat and panic.  It's not pretty.  And, there are parts of Philly that are pretty scary and with my sense of direction, I am not going to do it right now.  Turn me loose on a Saturday night in downtown Philly by myself, Lord only knows what will happen to me.  lol.  Maybe she'll just quit and refund my money.  Fat chance.

Gary Resurfaced

Well, well well.  Ok.  Gary and I were supposed to have dinner on Thursday.  That morning and afternoon he kept texting.  We were on, then we were off, then we were on, then off, on, off.....you get the picture.  By about 2pm I finally texted, "Let's just reschedule".  I went out with my BFF that night and forgot about the whole thing.  He called, he texted, and after 3 voice mails he finally quit calling.  I didn't hear my phone ring anyway.

I thought he went away.  Didn't hear from him for a while, then he suddenly called again.  He called a lot.  Long story short, the man is a habitual liar.  There are no telling how many lies I caught this guy in.

He texted me Saturday morning from another woman's house.  He was in Washington D.C. with a girl he met off the internet 4 years ago.  How can I take this guy seriously?

I can tell from his behavior that he keeps a string of women around.  So, this morning I tried to be nice and say that I thought we were in 2 different places.  He wanted examples.  Then, I told him that I just don't see us together down the road.  It's just my instincts.  He kept on and on.  I finally said, "Look, I'm trying to be nice."  I didn't want to come right out and tell him I thought he is the biggest liar I've ever met and he has absolutely no credentials with me.  So, he became very business like and was sort of yelling.  Basically told me Good-Luck and said good-bye.

I am tempted to put his last name down so that any woman that googles this guy's name will see this.

Turn the page......

Mark

Well, Gary turned out to be a bit of a psycho.  He called me about 15 times a day.  We went out on Monday.  He called me Monday night on his way home.  Tuesday morning he texted me before work.  He proceeded to call me off and on no less than 15 times that day.  Same thing Wed.  We were supposed to go out for Thurs and he suddenly changed.  We were on, then we were off, on, off, on, off.  So, after a bunch of exchanged texts, I finally said let's reschedule.  I went out with my bff and he called and left 3 voice mails.  Then, poof, he was gone.  Haven't heard from him since.  His story was a bit suspect since he claims to be the CFO of this property management estate, he said that one of the apartments had flooded and the tenant had no renter's insurance.  So, he went to check out the damage himself thursday morning.  He claimed that he had to meet with the flood insurance adjuster at 7pm thurday night.  My bff from college just happens to be a flood adjuster and I told her the whole story detail by detail and she assured me that she had never met with a CFO.  She just happened to be at a FEMA conf at the time! 

So, the matchmaker fixed me up with a different Mark.  This Mark is only 40 years old.  We talked a couple of times over the phone and he seemed like a nice man.  So, we met for dinner at a Tapas Bar.  I have never been so bored in my life.  All he could talk about was sports.  I told him repeatedly that I don't follow organized sports.  He went on and on.  I finally shrugged my shoulder.  Then, he started talking about stadiums.  Again, clueless.  I told him I knew about the SuperDome in New Orleans due to Hurricane Katrina.  He looked astounded.  lol.  I now know that the Minnesota Vikings are building a billion dollar stadium.  I have no idea if this is basketball, football, hockey, or whatever.  And, do not write to me informing me.  I don't want to take up memory in the hard drive with this useless knowledge.  lol  Outside of sports, he could not hold a conversation.

He had never eaten an oyster, so we ordered a single oyster for him to try.  He says he likes mussels but didn't like the oyster enough to order them.  Then, because it's tapas we ordered 3 small plates to share.  This concept was lost on him.  One of the dishes was a shrimp concoction in some sort of tomato sauce.  He put the shrimp on his plate and then picked it up with his fork to eat it and opened his mouth real wide.  I said, "Honey, don't eat the tail."  But, that wasn't even the moment that made me say OH NO HE DIDN'T.

When the bill came, he hovered over it.  He took his card out and held it in his hand for at least 10 mins with the bill in front of his chest.  He was playing with the card.  He was flipping it this way and that and kinda peeking down at the bill every few seconds or so.  I finally said, "I think you are going to have to put that in the little flap and lay it to the side.  They are not going to come get it as long as you are holding it."  He informed me that he had paid a bill before.  I shrugged and said that I didn't know if he thought we had to go up front and pay like you do at a diner or whatever, the server takes it for you. 

So, the check comes back.  The bill was $36.84.  How do I know this piece of information you might ask?  Bear in mind that I have been to this restaurant no less than a dozen times and $36.84 is not unreasonable there.  He asked me to calculate the tip!!!!  OH NO HE DIDN'T!!!  OMFG!!!!  He didn't!!!  Yes, he did.  I brought up the tip calculator app and handed him my iPhone.  This is when he told me that he doesn't have a smartphone or any access to the internet at all.  WOW.

Gary

So, the whole thing with the Mark guy wanting to meet at Lowe's in Pottstown was just bizarre.  There were other little tell-tale signs that something just wasn't right about that guy.  After much discussion with my BFF and google, we figure he's married or otherwise committed.  Of course, there were small little things that added up to this conclusion that I didn't mention but when you put it all together it makes sense.  His behavior was just too weird for there not to be something there.

But, after all this time, I finally had a good date!  The matchmaker fixed me up with someone named Gary Ray.  Gary happens to be the name of my father and Ray happens to be the name of my BFF's ex-husband.  Gary spoke to me a couple of times on the phone briefly.  He seems very assertive because he set up a meeting right away.  The matchmaker described him as an "Alpha Male".  I'm not sure about that description but I will say that he seemed very much the man.  I suppose that I respond well to that.  He is very decisive.

He was very appreciative of all things girly about me.  He commented on my perfume, my jewelry, my eyes, etc.  He is a little bit older, but actually I don't mind that.  He is financially secure and a multi-faceted person.

We do have chemistry and he is a nice man.  He looks just like Henry Wrinkler to me.  He is Jewish but doesn't like to date Jewish women.  He is also well traveled and appreciates the arts.  Before I left the restaurant he had asked me out for Thursday.  This is nice.

2nd date with Mark

So, Mark sent me an email and asked me to dinner earlier in the week.  He never called me or texted.  Only email.  We exchanged a few emails and he wanted me to meet him at Lowe's in Pottstown.  Lowes.  Really.  Strange.  So, I wrote him back and said that under the circumstances since I've only met him once before, I would feel more comfortable meeting at a restaurant.  I googled Pottstown and suggested either Red Lobster or Trattoria Vittoria.  Actually, they were the only two I could find.  So, he wrote back:

>  Ginger,      I understand. I thought it might be
>  easier for you to follow me. I was thinking like a
>  TGIF or a place we could sit at for awhile if we
>  wanted. Lets try Trattoria Vittoria. I appreciate
>  where you are coming from. I didn't mean to put you
>  in a bad situation. I will see you
>  there...........Mark

Hmmm.  Fridays?   For a second date?  I don't mean to sound like a bitch here, but this is just all wrong.  And, follow him?  Why didn't he just say Friday's in the first place?

So, we met at T.V.  I was totally confused as to if he wanted to have dinner or what.  The restaurant is a BYOB and he had no wine.  He knew this because he had told me he went to their website after I suggested it.  So, we ended up having dinner.  It was ok.  I wouldn't say that there was a lot of chemistry there.  It was just ok.  But, as we were leaving this very small restaurant, the couple next to us introduced themselves.  Turns out that the man is a State Representative in the Penn State House of Rep's for West Caln Township.  They were very nice and very friendly.  He gave me a Butterfinger candy bar.  lol

So, we left around 8:30 and it was still broad daylight.  He hugged me goodbye and put his hand on my waist a little bit.  Then, he said "I'll give you a call".  My gut tells me that he won't call.  After all, he hasn't called before.  And, after the doctor I'm a little self-conscious about my waist.  lol  Not really.  Well, maybe a little bit.

Mark

So, I had lunch today with a really nice man named Mark.  He's with IJL.  I met him in Quakertown which I have never been to.  It was an old pub that reminded me a lot of England.  When I got there, he had already been seated and they showed me to his table.  He got up and pulled my chair out, which I was very impressed with.  He was a really nice guy and I could tell he was very nervous.  He had a little tick in his left eye until he calmed down.  He sells tyvek for a living.  I just happen to need some tyvek at the moment for the sunroom on the house that I just bought.  It needs siding since the guy put indoor plywood outside and painted it white.  But, I digress. 

He lives in Bethlehem (no clue where that is).  I know I had to drive an hour and 15 minutes to get to Quakertown.  He is some Protestant religion that I never heard of.  The pilgrims started this religion.  I thought the Pilgrims were all Quakers.  Go figure.  They take communion with a loaf of bread and grape juice in the little wee plastic cups.  The minister actually comes to them, they don't go up to the altar.  He thought it was funny when I got a text from Jesus (my iPhone app).  He grew up in Bethlehem and has never left the area. 

He has 2 daughters who are 21 and 23.  When he found out that I have 3 children that are much younger, I could see that he wasn't jazzed about that.  He made a little face. 

All in all, he was very nice to talk to and he paid for our salads.  I actually couldn't eat mine.  It was HUGE.  He ate all of his which amazed me.  I was his first date through IJL.  He walked me to the parking lot and gave me a loose hug with the British kiss in the air next to your check.  Here's my feedback to the director:

1. How long your date was? about an hour and a half

2. What did you like about him/her? He was very nice looking and very polite.  He pulled my chair out for me.  He was very punctual as well.
   

3. What are three positive things about your match?  1)  Very nice looking.  2) Very polite.  3) Nice hair.

4. What interests did you have in common? We actually didn't have a lot in common.

5. What was your first impression?  Very positive.  He got up when I arrived and pulled my chair out.

 

6. How did the date end?  He asked me to go watch a movie after lunch.  But, I didn't have time since it was 2:30 and I needed to get back to Downingtown which is an hour and 15 minutes drive.
   

7. Did you exchange numbers?  We did.

8. Do you plan on seeing him/her again? If “no” please list reasons why?  I would like to see him again, but I can't really see anything coming of it because he lives a good distance away.  He was very sweet and I could tell he was very nervous.  After he asked me to the movies and I said that unfortunately I didn't have time today, he looked down.  So, I said, but we can do something another time!  And, that's when we exchanged numbers.
   

      9.  Focus on next time?  Someone closer.  We are a good distance away from each other.

Update on the man who went to Burma

I received a phone call from the matchmaker at 7:00 this morning with feedback from the date on Sunday night.  It seems that the good doctor didn't share my feelings at all.  He said that there was no chemistry between us and that I am fat.

I actually do work out at Planet Fitness and granted I haven't worked out since the death of my Mom.  Also, the weeks that I have my girls it just isn't possible for me to go to the gym.  By the time I get home it is 6:30pm, then with homework and baths, there is no time.  But, the reason I haven't been to the gym since March 15 is mainly because I was sick with an upper respiratory infection due to the pollen count in Memphis.  Then, I had to go on another round of antibiotics a week after I finished those because it didn't get rid of it.  I am feeling better now, finished the antibiotic on Sunday and will probably make my way back to the gym this week.  But, I have never been told that I was fat in my entire life except once.  The ex told me one day that I was "fat" after the birth of my 3rd child (while I was breast feeding) and therefore he was not sexually attracted to me.  Nice.

As a matter of fact, people in high school used to make fun of me because I was too skinny.  I am not what I would call skinny now, but for the most part I am pleased with my shape.  There could be improvements, sure.  But, after having 3 babies, I am never going to have a flat stomach again without surgery.  And, at 45 years of age, I don't really desire a bikini body.  I would just look ridiculous at this age in a bikini, even if I had the body for it.  I've lost 12 pounds since my Grandmother's death and I think I'm healthy.

So, this doctor is 55 years old and says he wants to date someone younger.  The matchmaker said that he wants someone model thin apparently.  I'm thinking he wants to date a 35 year old.  Actually, he probably wants to date a 25 year old if he could get away with it.

C'est la vie.

PS.  If you want to reply to this, I will not receive it.  You have to send me an email to my personal account.

The man who went to Burma

After the complete disaster of crybaby Mike, the matchmaker gave me the name of someone else.  This man is named Ted.  We talked a few times on the phone.  He seems very even tempered and serene.  He is a doctor, actually an anesthesiologist and has manages chronic pain in his practice.  He is originally from Virginia.  We agreed to meet on Sunday night for Mediterranean.  So, he suggested a place in the borough of West Chester.

It was pouring down rain and I got there first.  It is a very small place so there was no way to have a mix up over the tables and there is no bar.  Phew!  He arrived after I did and I could tell that he was attracted to me.  And, when we were seated he pulled my chair out for me!!!!  That is the very first time that has happened up here.  I was so impressed.  He is about 5'11" and he told me that he weighs 180 pounds.  There is no way.  I'm sorry.  He weighs more than that.  He has blue eyes and wears rimless glasses.  He has salt-n-pepper hair and lots of it.  I was attracted to him too.

He asked me a lot of questions and it's fair to say that I did a lot of the talking.  He mostly wanted to know about my travels in Europe.  He told me that he had recently gone to Burma with his friend who is Burmese to take pictures.  Photography is his passion.  He also shared with me that after he got out of high school, he flew to France with his bicycle and explored for a month or two.  My kind of guy!

He is living in Broomall now and is not yet divorced.  He has been separated for 2 years and the signing of the papers is the next step.  He did not seem to be broken hearted at all.  He has been with the matchmaker for 8 months now.  Seems like a long time to me to not have met anyone.

He paid for the bill and we sat there talking for a while.  I found it odd that he left the bill open.  You know how they bring you the bill in the plastic puffy folder?  He paid it with his card, the waiter brought it back and then Ted never closed it.  I didn't look at it because I thought that would be rude.  Maybe he wanted me to see it?  I'm not sure what to make of that.

Then, he insisted on walking me to my car in the pouring rain.  His umbrella turned inside out when he opened it in the doorway.  It was actually funny.  We fixed it.  So, he had his umbrella and I had mine.  He walked me to the parking lot where my car was and shook my hand and thanked me for a lovely evening.  So, I kind of tugged on his hand a little bit and went to give him a hug.  He hugged me back like they do in the UK (they put their cheek next to yours and then sort of kiss the air).  So, he never actually kissed my cheek.  Now, I could have put him in my car and driven him to his car, but I decided against that.  I don't know the whole thing was really awkward and I told him to call me.

So, I'm really not sure what to make of this.  It seems like if he liked me, he would have kissed me bye.  Not like a big kiss.  But, just like a little quick closed mouth kiss on the cheek or the lips?  But, then he was very very polite and maybe he thought that a kiss on the first date is too forward.

He did do another thing which I thought was very sweet.  My bracelet which was on my right hand got hung on my sweater on my left forearm at one point.  I said, "Oh, I'm hung up here" and kind of laughed.  He was very fast trying to help me.  I actually undid it myself, but he was really wanting to be helpful.

Crybaby Mike

So, you may remember Mike from 2 posts ago.  Refresher:  he's the one that didn't call on Easter and called the matchmaker to whine about how I'm not interested.  Fast forward:  Well, crybaby Mike called me a few times over the week and we had interesting discussions and agreed to meet on Saturday.  He SAID he had to work on Saturday until 1pm.  And, I had a church function at 5:45.  So, he suggested 2:30 at Maggiano's in King of Prussia.  Ok. 

So, Saturday, I went to Ulta and bought some new makeup.  Then, I went to the beauty shop and had my hair done.  I came home and got all dolled up for the 2:30 meeting.  Even put on my eyelashes.  lol. 

So, I get to Maggiano's at 2:30.  No crybaby.  So, after 5 minutes or so, I went to the maitre d' and explained that my name is Ginger and I am meeting someone named Mike who isn't here yet.  Please go ahead and seat me and when Mike comes in, please show him to my table.  Now, I ask you dear readers, is there anything wrong with this? 

I go to my table and order a glass of wine.  2:45 no crybaby Mike.  At, 3pm still no Mike.  So, I paid for my wine and left.  Now, dear readers, in the real world (without matchmaker), I would have left at 2:45.  But, since this was the matchmaker I decided to wait.  I say this because my time is valuable to me.  If someone is going to be late then I expect some sort of communication after 10-15 mins.  So, I immediately called her and left her a voice mail explaining that Mike was a no-show.  She checks her voice mail regularly.

At 4:20pm crybaby Mike calls me.  I took his call and you could have knocked me over with a feather.  This guy started screaming and yelling at me.  "Where were you?  Jill is going to kick me out of the club now because of you!  Jill told me I am unreliable!! blah blah blah."  I sat there and I listened to him.  He explained that he left his phone at home.  He was half way down the turnpike before he realized it and wasn't going to go back.  I said nothing.  Just listened.  And, then he hung himself.  He said that he was late because he was watching the Yankee's game.  hmmmm.  My jaw dropped at the nerve of this guy.  Oh, and he said that he was there at 2:45 sitting in the bar.  I asked him why he didn't go to the maitre d' and ask for me?  He said that he would NEVER go to the maitre d', NEVER and that he had never had a women get a table on him before.  So, when he stopped, I said, "I really don't know what to tell you.  Maybe next time you have a date you should bring your phone in case you're running late or something?"  He proceeded to scream some more and said, "LOOK!  I'M SORRY AND I CAN PUT MY HEAD ON THE PILLOW AT NIGHT KNOWING I'VE DONE THE RIGHT THING.  GOOD LUCK TO YOU!"  I said, thank you and hung up.  Of course, all this leaves me asking , "Oh no!  He didn't!!"  Called Jill, the matchmaker and left another voice mail saying what had happened. 

She ended up calling me.  She went through the whole story about his phone.  She told me that I should wait 45 minutes for my dates.  This is just not going to happen without some sort of text/phone call.  I understand that people get caught in traffic or are running late, but they need to text/call.  This is just common courtesy.  She told me that she was very angry with him and called him and demanded that he apologize to me.  So, I proceeded to tell her that he did not apologize.  He said the words "I'm sorry" but they were hardly sincere.  She agreed that he should have taken responsibility for his actions.  She also confronted him and said, "Mike, I don't know if you are seeing someone outside of my service, but you can't treat my clients this way.  This makes me look bad and Ginger is a new client."  She said that she will call me on Monday with a new match.

We are going to have to talk about physical appearance.  Crybaby was apparently 6 feet tall and told me he weighs 180 pounds.  Now, that's just scrawny in my book.  That's just a big old bag of bones.  No meat.  Brrrrr.

Robert

So, I had a "lunch" date with Robert last night from IJL.  I knew very little about him.  She told me a few things but I have had so much going on I honestly could not remember a thing.  It turns out that my BFF works down the street from Sullivan's where we were set to meet.  So, after work she met me for an hour or so at the restaurant before he got there. 

Turns out that Robert lives in Jersey now and grew up in south Philly.  I'm guessing that south Philly might be a blue collar neighborhood?  Not sure.  He is the first in his family to graduate college and he went to Villanova.  He basically does the same thing that the Richard Gere character does in the movie "Pretty Woman".  He says that his is on a much smaller scale.  The company that he is grooming at the moment is in environmental engineering.

He had a little bit of a bad boy edge to his looks, sort of mob like.  I think because he closely resembles the "Christopher" character on The Sopranos.  Maybe that's because his hair cut is exactly like that?  He is a little bit on the thin side.  He's 49. And, he is very intense (rut-roh- I seem to be intrigued by characters like that).  He also has 3 children but his are teenagers.  2 girls and 1 boy.  He really was a captivating man.  I honestly have to say that he is one of the most interesting people I've met up here.  I really did enjoy his company.  He seems like someone that I would really respect as a man.

There was only one "OH NO, HE DIDN'T!!" moment.  Sit back boys and girls, because you will chuckle.  None of us can forget the frantic gum chewer a few months ago.  Well, Robert was chewing gum albeit controllable.  So, when our Caesar salad came, he took the gum out of his mouth and set it on the appetizer saucer/plate.  EWWWWW.    We had been having such a nice conversation and I just couldn't eat my meal with that sitting there.  And, I really didn't want this guy to blow it right then and there.  So, it just popped out of my mouth before I knew what I was thinking, "Uh-uh.  Don't do that.  Please dispose of that properly."  After it came out I was embarrassed I said it.  So, he looks at his napkin which is cloth (upscale restaurant), goes to put it in his pocket and then decides to leave the table.  So, he left and I thought, "Well, I've probably pissed him off and he's going to just walk out of the restaurant and not come back after that."  But, he threw it away and came back.  lol

BFF walked by our table after he arrived and checked him out.  She said that he will definitely call me and that he likes me.  When I asked her how she knows this, she told me that if he weren't interested in me he wouldn't have picked up the tab for dinner.  I said, really?  I would think he would do that anyway.  She told me, "not the guys up here".  So, I'm wondering why just the hug at the end of the evening?  She thinks he was trying to be a gentleman.  She said that he was giddy when she saw us.  I didn't really see that, but ok.

He did send me a text after I got home and told me that it was nice talking to me.  So, we'll see.  Here's a copy of my feedback to Lisa:

> How long your date was? from 6:30-8:30
>
>
>
> What did you like about him/her? I really liked that he is tall and attractive.  Love the blue eyes.

>
>
>
> What are three positive things about your match?
>

1. Robert is a very intelligent and savvy man.
2. Robert is very interesting to talk to.
3. He is very family oriented.
   

>
>
>
> What interests did you have in common?  We come from similar backgrounds and have similar achievements.  We have a lot of the same philosophies in life.  We both seem to be on the same page spiritually.  We both have 3 children.  We both left our ex-spouses.
>
>
>
> What was your first impression?  He was very friendly and smiled a lot.  He seems like a very nice man.
>
>
>
> How did the date end?  He walked me to my car and hugged me good-bye.
>
>
>
> Did you exchange numbers?  Yes.
>
>
>
> Do you plan on seeing him/her again? If “no” please list reasons why?  I would love to see Robert again.  I'm not sure he feels the same way about me?  But, I thoroughly enjoyed his company and he was a 'quality' gentleman.
>
>
>
> What can we focus on for your next match?  I think if we keep heading down this path we'll do just fine.  It would be nice if he were closer geographically.  But, it is more important to meet someone of quality.  He is by far one of the more interesting people I have met since I moved to the northeast.  Keep up the good work! 

Matchmaker Again

Well she called me back while I was in Memphis saying that she'd like to meet me.  I explained that I was out of town with my Mother's passing but would be happy to talk to her when I get back.  So, one day last week I drove out to the middle of nowhere and we talked.  I was expecting a little old lady that looks kinda of like Dame Edna.  Instead, she was around my age and very thin.  I will remind you that she was the one that told me she could not work with me because no one was in her database that was tall enough or would drive out to Downingtown or wanted to see someone with children.  All that changed apparently.  So, we talked for about an hour and a half.  The next day she calls me with information for "Mike".  I have completely forgotten what all she said about him by now.  But, anyway he called me and we talked for about 45 mins.  It was all good and I told him that I was available to meet on Monday 4/9.  He said "Great, I'll call you Sunday night." 

Sunday night came and went.  No call.  So Monday I called matchmaker and said I didn't think it was going to work out since he didn't call me.  She must've called him and told him to call.  So, he calls Monday night (the night we are supposed to be meeting).

Ok.  I am not impressed.  He said that "He forgot" and then he told me that he has relatives in West Memphis and that they are Italian but doesn't know their name.  Ummmmm.  So, he asks about my availability this week and I said, "I told you I was available tonight."  Blah blah blah.  So, I said my next available night is Thursday.  He is on a bowling league and bowls on Thursday evenings.  Ok.  So, he doesn't really follow up.  He doesn't ask me anything else.  So, we got off the phone.

He calls matchmaker this morning (Tuesday) whining about how I'm not really interested and I've got this going on and that going on and I'm just not available.  So, she calls me all upset because his feelings are hurt and I didn't jump through hoops because he finally called.  I said, "Look, I told him I was available Monday night and he's the one that didn't call.  He dropped the ball not me."  Apparently, men pay more for her services than the women.  So, we've got to keep him happy.  So, I'm supposed to call him and tell him of my availability this weekend even though he never asked.  So, I did.  I left him a voice mail and said that I am available Saturday for lunch.  I have a church function Saturday evening but if he would like to meet for lunch that would be great just give me a call back or text. 

We'll see.  I'm still not impressed.  I told matchmaker that I just didn't think he is reliable since "he forgot" and he's really not all that interested or else he would have "remembered".  I don't like it when I feel like I am forgotten about.  And, I told her, I am not comfortable calling him but I will this one time since she insisted.  I expect the man to call me.  Period.  I do NOT chase men.

It's Just Lunch

On February 13, I went on ahead and joined the IJL.  It turns out that the membership director is from West Memphis.  She moved there after high school and her Mom owned Sharon's lounge.  She is now in Ohio but it was nice to reminisce about the big town. 

She had her heart set on me meeting this person named "Lon".  It just didn't happen.  Here is the email that I sent to her:

Lisa and Catherine,

I just wanted to address a concern that I have regarding my membership at "It's Just Lunch".
I joined on Feb 13, and was supposed to have my first lunch date on March 2. 
Unfortunately, that has fallen through (documented 2 times, but in actuality this is the 4th time). 
Because I share 50% custody of my children
with my ex-husband, I am only available every other week.  If we do not arrange for a
lunch date this week (Feb 27-March 3), then my next available week will be March 12-17.
This would put an entire month behind me once joining and before going on my first date.

I guess I don't understand why if Lon has to reschedule that we can't get someone else
for this week/ weekend?  Realizing that it is Tuesday, I think it's possible.  I'm not tied to
Lon am I?  Surely there is someone that we can fit in before the Lon date?

I can't help but feel that I have fallen through the cracks, so to speak or put on the back burner.

Thanks so much,
Ginger

So, she called on Wed night and told me that my first lunch date would be with Mike on Sunday at noon.  I will spare you all the details and forward you the feedback that I gave Lisa and Catherine.  This is my response to Lisa's email asking for feedback:

Meeting: Mike and Ginger

3/4 @ 12pm 

Brickside Grille

540 Wellington Square
Exton, PA 19341

 (610) 321-1600

We are so excited for you to meet them and hope you have a great time!

When you get there, as a reminder, check in with the Hostess and they will take you to your table.   If you are running late or need to cancel at the last minute, please call ahead to the restaurant!

Feedback is very important to our IJL dating process so please don’t forget to email me with your feedback. These are the areas we would like you to focus on when you send your feedback:

1. How long your date was? 1.5 hours

 

2. What did you like about him/her?  He has nice thick hair.

3. What are three positive things about your match?

a.  He has really nice thick hair.
b.  He was a nice conversationalist.
c.  He had a nice complexion.

 

4. What interests did you have in common?

a.  We both read a lot of non-fiction.
b.  We both have daughters.
c.  We both like older homes.
 

 

5. What was your first impression?

I had a very positive first impression.

6. How did the date end?

 

He went to the bathroom and came back to the table.  We walked outside (he did NOT open the door for me).  He gave me a very loose hug like you do your Mom or Aunt.  He walked to his car and I walked to mine.  I did not see his car as he parked a great deal away.

7. Did you exchange numbers?

He did not ask for my number.  So, no we did not exchange numbers.

8. Do you plan on seeing him/her again? If “no” please list reasons why?

No.  There's just no way to sugar coat this.  Mike is a cheapskate.  He ordered ala carte instead of the Sunday buffet stating that it was "overwhelming".  He was hesitant to even order ala carte stating that he had already eaten.  And, he talked a lot about how he saved money installing his hardwood floors by having the shop teacher at school do it.  Now, I know times are hard and all, but seriously.  When he shared with me how he takes his daughter on excursions with his metal detector it became apparent to me that we have a different lifestyle. 

Also, it is worth mentioning Mike's eating habits.  I'm pretty sure that he has dentures.  If not, then he has a serious eating issue.  It was like watching a horse eat a carrot.  All teeth.  And, then he stuck his index finger in his mouth to dig something out of the side between his cheek and upper teeth.  Ewwww.  He was eating scrambled eggs.

For the entire lunch date, Mike sat with his back against the wall of the booth with one arm across the back of the seat and the other arm spread out on the table as if between me and him (not sure if that makes sense).  He had his right leg bent on the seat.  His body language was very guarded and his body did not face me once during the date.  He was very awkward in this way as he sat catty-corner to me the entire time.

9. What can we focus on for your next match?

I think maybe someone a little taller.  Mike is a very petite man with little hands and short arms.  Also, I make it a personal policy to not go out with men who make less money than me.  I have had very bad experiences with this in my single life.  Men are very competitive by nature and it just doesn't work.  Also, I tend to be attracted to more generous men.  Stingy men are just a deal breaker for me.  And, manners (open the door for crying out loud, chew with your mouth closed, etc) are a must.

Sweet Beginnings

I'm not feeling particularly loved right now.  I think I was already down a little bit when that matchmaker called me AGAIN.  She just wanted me to know that she is allied with Premier Match and they both checked their databases and there is just no one interested in driving out to Downingtown.  Then, she had to throw in that none of her clients want to date anyone with small children or anyone as tall as me.  Jeesh.  I could have lived without this information.  I'm sorry but this was smeared in my face the first call and now she has to take her foot and stomp it in.  I mean, I appreciate the honesty and all.  But, talk about harsh.  Jeesh.

Oh, but she is going to advertise in West Chester next week and she'll keep me in mind.  I said, Gee thanks.

More on matchmakers....

My friend told me about a matchmaker in this area that I should call before investing a chunk of money into "It's Just Lunch".  So, I called on Saturday and left her a voice mail.  She's called me back several times and we keep missing each other.  Finally, we caught up with each other just before lunch today.  She's been doing this for 27 years and charges $200.  She works closely with a company called Premier Match and they share databases.  They are an alliance but PM charges a whole lot more.  So, I asked her a few questions and she told me that they have about 500 people in the database and there is a shortage of women my age.  Ok.  So, once she started talking to me and asking about me, she turned me down as a client. 

She told me I am too tall.  Most of the men in her database are 5'10".  She said, "Girls your height always want a man over 6 feet."  Then, she told me that I live too far out.  Most of her clients would not drive out to Downingtown.  Then, she told me that 3 children is too much.  She said that most of her clients request someone with grown children or if they have a dependent child at home, there should only be one.

I really couldn't believe it.  On the one hand I appreciate her honesty.  However, I find it really difficult to swallow all that she said.  I know for a fact that my friend used her and she lives in Downingtown.  She's not as tall as me, granted.  But, still.  It was really bizarre because this woman had left me about 5 voice mails from Saturday till Monday lunch.  VERY long and detailed vm's about how she needed women, etc.  I felt so......hopeless.

Idea I'm toying with

I haven't been on here in a long time.  I just read my last post and boy was I down!  I'm ok right now.  I haven't been on a date in probably 5 months and I'm good with just being alone right now.  I don't feel particularly lonely.  I just decided that online dating was just not for me.

After a little bit of research, I discovered that women in their mid 40s are overrun in the populace.  Apparently, men in their mid 40s prefer to date women in their 30s and even 20s.  So, generally speaking, since men prefer much younger women, I should target the men in their 50s.  I would probably have a better chance with that than men my own age because I'd be competing with 30 somethings.  But, there is the matter of going too much older than me.  Once men hit 55 they are concerned with retirement and not putting 3 kids through college.....probably not a good match.

With that in mind, when I was on an airplane recently I picked up the airline magazine and read about "It's Just Lunch".  I'd had it mentioned to me by my friend, Amy as well.  After I called them and found out how much they charge, I was very hesitant.  They charge a small fortune for their membership.  Plus, there are so many scams in that industry. 

But, then I got to thinking, the high cost of this service will mean that the married men and players are going to be weeded out.  They say they run a background check on these men and if there are any sexual related crimes or domestic violence crimes on their record they are denied membership.  Could that be true?

So, they have a list of restaurants that they are partnered with in the area.  I am going to call those restaurants and see if they indeed work with IJL and how frequently they have guests before I decide anything.  I will let you know.  If you have any suggestions, please comment!!!