AJ

It is of note that per our conversation yesterday, I was told that AJ is 54 and that he is in "Sales & Consulting".  When we met, AJ told me that he is 52 and that he is a pilot for Delta.  He says that he is based out of LaGuardia and has a house in the East Village.  He says that he owns a property in Springfield, but his uncle lives there.  He also says that he owns a condo in downtown Philly.

AJ also mentioned that he was a fighter pilot and flew F-16s while in the Air Force after he graduated from Michigan with an energy engineering degree.  I worked at General Dynamics for some time in Ft Worth, who manufacture the F-16 and know a bit about the plane.  Upon questioning AJ, it turns out that he wasn't a fighter pilot at all.  He then said that he was an instructor.

Now, I don't know if Lisa got "confused" about his details, but my gut is telling me this guy is lying.  When I asked him to share stories about his work, they were a bit off.  Maybe he is being dishonest with IJL or maybe he is being dishonest with me?  Surely, he didn't tell you guys that he was a pilot?  If he did then why would I be told he was in "Sales & Consulting"? 

On Mon, Aug 20, 2012 at 4:46 PM, LisaM - IJL <LisaM@ijlcorp.com> wrote:

Just a reminder of your date:

Meeting: AJ and Ginger

 8/27 @ 7pm

 Legal Sea Foods - King of Prussia

• Address:
  680 West Dekalb Pike The Court at King of Prussia Building
  The Court at King of Prussia Building
  King of Prussia, PA 19406
• (610) 265-5566

We are so excited for you to meet them and hope you have a great time!

When you get there, as a reminder, check in with the Hostess and they will take you to your table.   If you are running late or need to cancel at the last minute, please call ahead to the restaurant!

Feedback is very important to our IJL dating process so please don’t forget to email me with your feedback. These are the areas we would like you to focus on when you send your feedback:

1. How long your date was?  from 7-9

2. What did you like about him/her?  He seemed to be very intelligent.

3. What are three positive things about your match?  1.  He was very intelligent and a good conversationalist.  2.  He was well dressed.  3.  ?

4. What interests did you have in common?  We have both traveled a lot.  We both would also like to attend the Garth Brooks concert in Las Vegas.

5. What was your first impression?  AJ is a very petite man.

6. How did the date end?  AJ went to the bathroom about 9pm and asked if I would still be at the table when he got back.  I said sure, somewhat confused.  When he came back I stood so we could leave.  He walked to the front of the restaurant basically alone.  I was not walking with him as I had on high heels and walked at a slower pace and he walked very fast to the front.  Once out of the restaurant, he opened the door to the mall and walked right through it BEFORE me.  

7. Did you exchange numbers?  Yes

8. Do you plan on seeing him/her again? If “no” please list reasons why?  There was no chemistry there and he was just plain ill mannered at the end.

9. What can we focus on for your next match?  My next date doesn't necessarily need to be someone from the suburbs.  I am thinking that since I can't drive into Center City, that I am getting fixed up with men out in the burbs?  Also, I stated on my initial criteria that I prefer someone 5'10" and above.  Shorter men are a deal breaker for me.

Connections

I met someone last night in person.  We had been talking on the phone and we really do have great chemistry.  When I showed up at the restaurant, I felt a bit deceived by his photos.  Clearly they are not current.  He had to buy a shirt to go out with me.  Little bit of a concern.

He says that he is a Rutgers graduate.  He owns his own business which is a janitorial service for office buildings.  Here is where things get sketchy.  I'm really not sure what to think.  He eventually ends up telling me that a lot of his clientele are from the mob.  He starts telling me that there are 5 crime families in Jersey just south of Staten Island.  He starts mentioning names and he takes care of this one's office, that one's office, etc.  He starts telling me stories.  Don't get me wrong, they were VERY interesting.

As a matter of fact, he is the first guy up here who has not bored me to tears.  Most want to discuss Philadelphia sports which I know nothing about nor do I care.  We actually do have really great chemistry.  I'm not at all attracted to him.  He has no chin.  And, he has a really large pot belly.  And, he says that he is 2 years older than me, but I don't think so.  He looks a lot older than me.  Ok, he's just not hot.

Not knowing the culture up here that well, I am a little bit freaking out about the mob stories.  I'm not sure if he's googled this stuff and studied up on the mob and just spouted it out?  I was told by someone that he said these things in hopes of impressing me?  Apparently, women from New Jersey would be impressed with a man from the mafia.  I don't get that.

Could it be that he was hand-picked by the "bawse" to do the job he does and now they take care of him?

I'm really confused about it.  Being in the mafia doesn't impress me.  I don't understand how it would impress anyone?  Isn't it a bit psycho to make up a story about how you clean the office of "Big Sal" when you don't?

Then, I go back on the website today to update my pictures or whatever and I see him!!  He has a 2nd account on the same website claiming that they wouldn't let him delete the first one!!  The 2nd account has different pictures.  So, he has 2 active accounts on the dating website.  Hmmmmm.

Next!!!!

Dumped via text

This is a first for me.  Received this text at 9:16am from nice man Mike:

Ginger was going to call last night but I've been thinking about this dating thing.  Between the fact that your ex is a jerk and my divorce process just kicked off I don't think we should keep mtg.  I'm not ready and if we kept mtg my heart wouldn't be in it which means it would be about sex.  I'm sorry and wish you luck.


Ok
#1.  He thought I was going to have sex with him?????  That's a bit presumptuous.
#2. My ex being a jerk is the reason he's my ex.  That doesn't prevent me from dating.  That would be the reason WHY I am dating.  I can't see someone who is intimidated by my ex.  That just wouldn't work at all.  If he knew he could get one in over my boyfriend, OMG he'd work the poor guy over.
#3.  I don't think there is a number 3.  I haven't responded to this text and probably won't.  I'm not sure exactly what to say.  I would have never taken this guy out of the "friend-zone" simply because I knew from the get go that he is not emotionally available.  He must have an ego the size of Texas.

Whatever.....

Nice man Mike

He's married.
His wife threw him out.
Says he's been separated for 18 months.
He hasn't told his parents that he is separated.
They were in counseling together up until 5 months ago.  She dropped out of the counseling and he continues to see the counselor by himself.  (insert raised eyebrow) 

His story is that he hasn't told his parents he's going through a divorce because his mom was diagnosed with cancer in November and is now in remission.  He also says that she has hired an attorney and he hasn't.  They are going to try and mediate through HER attorney.  Hmmmm.  No man who is wanting a divorce is going to agree to this.  When you are wanting to end your marriage, you damn well tell your parents.  FIRST.  And, you hire an attorney and get the crap over with ASAP.  You just want it done.

Momma always said there are 3 things a couple fight about: sex, money, and the in-laws. 

Long story short....he's done something to piss her off.  They have an 8 year old son and a 6 year old daughter.  He's very successful so I don't think it was over money.  Probably another woman, if I had to guess.  He talked a lot about how she was "angry" at her Dad over her teen years.  I'm thinking she's angry all right.  And, no wonder he thinks I'm gentle.  She's from Rochester, NY and is angry over her marriage failing!!  No offense New Yorkers, but you people sound harsh to begin with, never mind sprinkling anger on top of that.

I had another very nice dinner.  I had nice conversation.  I enjoyed his company.  And, that will be the end of that.  For all I know, he's still living with his wife and kids.  He sure wanted to leave around 8pm. Whatever is going on with this man, he hasn't got his walking papers.  He's clearly not ready to end his marriage.  I have no idea why he is trying to date.  Well, yes I do.

WHERE are the honest men?  And, don't say church because they ain't there either. 

Dave

Before I begin, let me just say that my ex's name is Dave, my boss's name is Dave and the person I was meeting tonight is also named Dave.  I kept an open mind after all people can't help their name.  He had texted me and called me every night for a few days and we had made plans to meet up on Friday.   Then I didn't hear from him Wed or Thurs.  So, I just assumed it was off.  Go to work this morning and he texts me wanting to know if we were still on.  I said sure.

We were to meet at an upscale grocery store that has a cafe.  I wasn't that excited about it, but ok.  I get there and the grocery store has a very nice pub!  Who knew!  So, I sat down and ordered a glass of white and waited for him.  He shows up about 5 mins late.  That's ok. 

We are supposed to be the same age and I was sitting there stewing because he looks way older than me.  I just kept thinking, he is lying about his age!  Well, he must've known I was thinking this because I am just that transparent.  Age came up and he showed me his license and sure enough we are the same age.  This guy looks at least 10 years older if not more.  He about fell off his chair when I told him my age.  He also could not believe we are the same age but obviously for a different reason.  Thank you Daddy for the genes (Grandma always said I favored the Elzie side of the family).  8-)

So, we ordered personal pizza's and then he said he was still hungry.  He had 2 Sierra Nevada's by then and ordered some fries.  We talked a lot and there wasn't a lot of chemistry.  He was just ok.  He's into manufacturing and operational management.  By this time, he's had a 3rd beer.  At the end, he asked me something very curious.  He wanted to know if I was nervous coming there and meeting him?  I said, no.  Did I look nervous?  He said no.  I explained that I don't really get nervous meeting new people.  I'm fairly confident and I can even speak in front of people no problem.  For some reason this question is really bothering me.  Why would he ask me that???  Ok, seriously, please comment and tell me if you have any ideas.

The bill came and I offered to pay since he is starting a job 2 Monday's from now.  He said that we would split it.  I said ok.  Then, he decided to browse the beer section of the store and wanted me to come along.  This store mostly sells imports.  He was going to "educate" me on beer.  So, we are going around and he is pointing to this beer and that beer and pronouncing the various foreign labels and telling me his opinion of them.  I told him, yes I been there, been to that brewery, been to that factory, this one is very pilsner, this one is very citrusy, etc.  I think it probably busted his bubble.  After all, I WAS married to a Brit, and nobody knows their lager/ale/beer better than the Brits.  I gotta give the ex, Dave, props on this.  But, when dude got to the Hoegaarden, he picks up a case and asks if I want some?  I said, no thank you but I don't really drink beer.  So, he puts it down and carries on.  Then, it soon became apparent to me after a couple of these offers that this joker thought he was going to buy beer and I was going to go somewhere and drink it with him!!!!  OH NO HE DIDN'T!!!!  Yes, he did.

So, he decided to buy 2 large bottles of beer for himself.  Ok fine, I was just ready to go.  So, we leave and he walks me to my vehicle.  This thing tried to kiss me!!!!!  OH NO HE DIDN'T!!!  I turned my head and he ended up kissing me on the cheek.  He hugged me in the midst of all this at the same time or something and I hugged him back.  But, really????  I'm so sure.  I mean, what are these people thinking???  I mean, I don't want to sound bad here, but this is "game" from high school!!!  I don't know about the rest of America, but this is a classic Marion High maneuver.  Now, in high school you may be able to swoon a girl with your beer prowess and woo her with the fact that you can actually purchase the stuff.  But, come on!!!  Really?????  <Insert my contorted face here-kinda like a Margaret Cho look> 

And, dear readers, I can hear you laughing.  8-)   It's just too funny not to document it.  Someday, we'll all look back on these little "vignettes" and have a big belly laugh.  My life.  Welcome to my crazy, lonely, adventurous life.  Don't you wish you were me?  Don't answer that.

 

Finally!!!

I had a nice date with a nice man!!!  Not one time did I say to myself, "OH NO HE DIDN'T", actually, I found myself saying, "OH NO I DIDN'T!!!"

I found him online and we didn't write each other but a couple of times.  He asked me out for Thursday and I said yes on Wednesday.  He looks nothing like his picture, but that is a good thing.  He is 6'1" and has blue eyes.  He just came back from a Caribbean cruise to St Thomas and he is nicely tanned. 

We have A LOT in common.  He is very well traveled and has gone to a lot of places I haven't.  The place which had the most impact on him was Calcutta.  His stories of his experiences there were very interesting.  He has been to India 3 different times (Mumbai and New Delhi, as well).  He has also traveled extensively in Europe and been to places I haven't, which I didn't think was possible (Dusseldorf and Luxembourg). 

So we met at a dive bar across from a parking lot.  Once we met, he suggested an Italian place a few blocks down.  This was a very nice place.  I haven't had a meal that nice in a long time.  I had the lobster ravioli in the most delicious red pepper creme sauce that had chunks of crab.  He had the spaghetti bolognaise.  I think he was better mannered than me.  I have no idea why I did this, but when the meal came I took a piece of bread and dipped it straight into the olive oil mixture instead of using the little spoon and putting it in my own saucer.  It was a minor thing but I was mortified at myself and did a mental, "Oh no I didn't!"  I think I lost myself there because of the conversation.  He was very aware of not putting his elbows on the table, etc.  And, I caught myself with my elbows on the table.  lol


He grew up in Michigan and lived a long time in Chicago, Northern NJ, Richmond VA and now here.    He currently works for a large well known company in WC and has 50 direct reports.  He says that he wishes he could go down a couple of levels with less responsibility.  I shared with him that I am not as high up in my current position as I used to be and it's great!  Waaay less stress.  He says that he has worked a lot and that probably contributed to his problems (I assume he's talking about his marriage).  He has his Bachelor's in Statistics and his Master's in Business or Finance (can't remember).  His Dad is a lawyer and he wanted his sons to be attorneys.  His Mom was diagnosed with cancer in November last year, hence the family cruise.  She is in remission and doing well.  I told him about my Mom.  Cancer is a bitch.  


We just had a lot in common.  We are both a little nerdy and intelligent.  Yet, we are both NORMAL.  He has a 6 year old daughter and an 8 year old son.  He gets them every other weekend and this coming weekend is his. 


He paid for our dinner even though I offered to pay for mine.  He was very much the gentleman about it.  He asked if we could take a walk (the borough is very busy with pedestrians as it is a college town).  So, in 89 degree weather with a million percent humidity, we took a leisurely stroll through the High Street.  He kept walking really close to me and wanted to take our doggie bags to the car.  I didn't put it together until he grabbed my hand later.  He held my hand.  I haven't had anyone hold my hand in such a long time.  He must've been a little nervous because in spite of the heat and humidity, his hand was a little cold.  He told me that he really likes my accent.  My guess is that he finds it soothing and gentle, and different.


After walking for a while we turned around and walked back to the parking garage.  He asked me out for next week and said he would text or call.  He walked me to the stairs and kissed me bye.  Just a little polite kiss on the lips (closed).  I also haven't been kissed in a long time and it really threw me.  I was not expecting that.  I was walking up the stairs to my car and he told me that he really likes my name.  I'm pretty sure my face was bright red and I was dazed. 


But, my big "OH NO I DIDN'T" moment came next.  I am in the line to pay for my parking and there are probably 5 cars behind me.  I had no idea that this garage only takes cash and no bills over $10.  It was $4.50 for my parking and I had $3.50 cash.  The parking attendant was going to make everybody back up and make me park and walk to an ATM.  So, someone behind me gave the guy $5 to cover my parking so everyone didn't have to back up.  I pray that it was not him.  I handed the parking guy my $3.50 and told him to give it to that person and thank them.  Of course, me and the parking attendant had a few choice words in the meantime.


This nice man's name is Mike.  8-)
I don't know if he'll actually follow up for a date next week?  If he doesn't then I had a really nice date that I haven't had in a looooong time.  It was perfect.  Everything a date should be.  And, it was so nice to sit with a male and not have him discuss Philadelphia sports with me.  Gawd, that is SOOO boring.  I like the way he was a gentleman, yet he was assertive.  And, if he does get a hold of me like he says he is going to, then I think I will go out with him again.  


PS.  You may remember that the last person I (almost) went out with who had this name was "crybaby Mike".  lol   Sooooooo glad that didn't work out.