Friday, August 3, 2012


Before I begin, let me just say that my ex's name is Dave, my boss's name is Dave and the person I was meeting tonight is also named Dave.  I kept an open mind after all people can't help their name.  He had texted me and called me every night for a few days and we had made plans to meet up on Friday.   Then I didn't hear from him Wed or Thurs.  So, I just assumed it was off.  Go to work this morning and he texts me wanting to know if we were still on.  I said sure.

We were to meet at an upscale grocery store that has a cafe.  I wasn't that excited about it, but ok.  I get there and the grocery store has a very nice pub!  Who knew!  So, I sat down and ordered a glass of white and waited for him.  He shows up about 5 mins late.  That's ok. 

We are supposed to be the same age and I was sitting there stewing because he looks way older than me.  I just kept thinking, he is lying about his age!  Well, he must've known I was thinking this because I am just that transparent.  Age came up and he showed me his license and sure enough we are the same age.  This guy looks at least 10 years older if not more.  He about fell off his chair when I told him my age.  He also could not believe we are the same age but obviously for a different reason.  Thank you Daddy for the genes (Grandma always said I favored the Elzie side of the family).  8-)

So, we ordered personal pizza's and then he said he was still hungry.  He had 2 Sierra Nevada's by then and ordered some fries.  We talked a lot and there wasn't a lot of chemistry.  He was just ok.  He's into manufacturing and operational management.  By this time, he's had a 3rd beer.  At the end, he asked me something very curious.  He wanted to know if I was nervous coming there and meeting him?  I said, no.  Did I look nervous?  He said no.  I explained that I don't really get nervous meeting new people.  I'm fairly confident and I can even speak in front of people no problem.  For some reason this question is really bothering me.  Why would he ask me that???  Ok, seriously, please comment and tell me if you have any ideas.

The bill came and I offered to pay since he is starting a job 2 Monday's from now.  He said that we would split it.  I said ok.  Then, he decided to browse the beer section of the store and wanted me to come along.  This store mostly sells imports.  He was going to "educate" me on beer.  So, we are going around and he is pointing to this beer and that beer and pronouncing the various foreign labels and telling me his opinion of them.  I told him, yes I been there, been to that brewery, been to that factory, this one is very pilsner, this one is very citrusy, etc.  I think it probably busted his bubble.  After all, I WAS married to a Brit, and nobody knows their lager/ale/beer better than the Brits.  I gotta give the ex, Dave, props on this.  But, when dude got to the Hoegaarden, he picks up a case and asks if I want some?  I said, no thank you but I don't really drink beer.  So, he puts it down and carries on.  Then, it soon became apparent to me after a couple of these offers that this joker thought he was going to buy beer and I was going to go somewhere and drink it with him!!!!  OH NO HE DIDN'T!!!!  Yes, he did.

So, he decided to buy 2 large bottles of beer for himself.  Ok fine, I was just ready to go.  So, we leave and he walks me to my vehicle.  This thing tried to kiss me!!!!!  OH NO HE DIDN'T!!!  I turned my head and he ended up kissing me on the cheek.  He hugged me in the midst of all this at the same time or something and I hugged him back.  But, really????  I'm so sure.  I mean, what are these people thinking???  I mean, I don't want to sound bad here, but this is "game" from high school!!!  I don't know about the rest of America, but this is a classic Marion High maneuver.  Now, in high school you may be able to swoon a girl with your beer prowess and woo her with the fact that you can actually purchase the stuff.  But, come on!!!  Really?????  <Insert my contorted face here-kinda like a Margaret Cho look> 

And, dear readers, I can hear you laughing.  8-)   It's just too funny not to document it.  Someday, we'll all look back on these little "vignettes" and have a big belly laugh.  My life.  Welcome to my crazy, lonely, adventurous life.  Don't you wish you were me?  Don't answer that.


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