Taking a break

I have let my memberships expire on chemistry and match.  I am still out there on a couple of them, but honestly after this run I am just hopeless.  It seems like all I'm finding are extreme cheapskates looking for FWB.  I'm going to start going to more community events and getting out more.  At this point, I'm just about ready to resign myself to a life of solitude and dieing alone in a nursing home somewhere.  I'm not at all sure that I am meant to share my life with anyone.  If I get really lonely, I will do the craigslist thing.  But, that seems like scraping the bottom of the barrel to me for some reason. 

It's not you.....it's me

Sigh.  Remember the guy who believes in aliens?  Bill.  I heard from him on Sunday and Monday night.  After that, he stopped calling.  I had no idea what happened.  So the following email exchange ensued:

From: Ginger Phillips
To: wwm1138@comcast.net
Sent: Sat, 24 Sep 2011 13:55:48 -0000 (UTC)
Subject: Re: new pic

Haven't heard from you in a while.

Just wanted to say hi.

Ginger

From: "wwm1138@comcast.net" <wwm1138@comcast.net>
To: Ginger Phillips
Sent: Saturday, September 24, 2011 2:17 PM
Subject: Re: new pic

I didn't think you wanted to hear from me,i asked if you would call me the next night and you never did,it just seemed like i was doing all of the pursuing to use your term , when i did not hear back from you i thought you were not interested,it did give me some time to think,with the way work has been going and i have to save any extra money i have to go to a wedding in colorado at the end of next month i really don't have any extra money to do the whole dating thing,You deserve more out of a relationship,I am sure you want to go to dinners and the tours you like,all i can offer you really is companionship and a lover and you probably want more out of a relationship than that,
Anyway if i don't hear back from you i understand,this has nothing to do with you it is me

Bill

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here's my response to him:

I never even heard you ask me to call you.  I am surprised that I would agree to that.  I must have misunderstood you.  I know that women up here have no problem taking on a more masculine role. 

It's interesting that you think you are doing all the pursuing and you don't like that.  This is contrary to everything I have known.  It's my understanding that men like to go after what they want.  Usually when they don't they are not truly interested.  To quote a very popular book that most women have read, "He's just not that into you."

Sorry to hear about your financial woes.  I think the economy affects us all.  You have only yourself to take care of.  It takes on a whole different dynamic when you have kids. 

Ginger

A strange Saturday...

I had been texting with a man named Ed all week.  Sometimes for hours at a time.  He decided he wanted to meet on Saturday.  No problem.  We couldn't agree on a place so we left it up in the air.  So, he called me Saturday mid morning while I was out running errands.  He asked me where I'd like to meet and I explained that I was really hungry since I had a light supper and didn't eat breakfast.  I mentioned that Happy Days Diner was great.  It's on the 30Bus (easy to get to for both of us) and that they had a really good buffet.  I then threw out the Station Taproom.  He kept hemming and hawing and threw out Starbucks.  We had been on the phone about an hour at this point and were laughing and having a good time.  So, I didn't feel uncomfortable telling him that statistics show that you never have a 2nd date after "coffee".  He said why?  I explained that I had read a few books about online dating and that women perceive it in a bad way.  He wanted to know more.  So, I said, "I'm not saying this about YOU, but women think that the man is a cheapskate who only wants to have coffee."  Well, he decided that he was offended by that and he didn't want to meet me now.  And, he went on and on and on for over an hour.  He told how he had spent thousands of dollars on dinners and trips.  It was ridiculous.  NEXT!

So, I had also been emailing and texting with a man named Bill.  He wanted to go to dinner and meet me.  Ok.  So, we went to the Station Taproom.  It was very nice and I really enjoyed talking to him.  We shared the same views politically and things were were going well.  So, I went home after dinner and told him he could call me.  We talked about various things and it was all going well.  Then, you can hear the breaks squeal........he believes in aliens.  He thinks there could be life on another solar system.  He thinks that would blow the lid on creationism.  Sigh.  Another nut?  You be the judge.

The frantic gum chewer.....surfaces

How could we forget the gum chewer?  We met on August 16, almost a month ago.  He IM'ed me yesterday but I didn't respond.  So, this morning he IM'ed me again:

paramedic5830: So what did you think of our fist get together
gingerphillips: I have to be honest with you Mike, I didn't feel any chemistry.  I had a real problem with a couple of things.
paramedic5830: Do tell
gingerphillips: Well, the gum was so distracting for me.  And, when you put it on the appetizer plate, that was bad enough, but when you finished your meal instead of getting a new piece, you put that same piece back in your mouth and it just turned my stomach.  No offense.  And, I also thought it wasn't very nice to order an entree but not get me anything.  I don't want you to be upset, but it just wasn't a match for me.
paramedic5830: Well Np, good Lucy with your search....
gingerphillips: Not to mention that I haven't heard from you in a long while and normally when a man is interested in you, you are not on the backburner.  Men are fairly aggressive in getting what they want.  I feel like I was just an afterthought.

He said something about how I wasn't on the back burner, he's just been really busy, blah blah blah.  So, that was that.  Hopefully, he'll learn something about the gum.  Probably not, though.  

Just not that into him

Chris called me a couple of times during the week and we agreed to a date Sunday night.  He was coming from the Shore and underestimated how long it would take him to get there by over an hour.  He was nice enough to text me several times so I didn't leave.  I don't know.  I'm just not feeling it.  He was a nice guy.  But, there's just no spark there.  He wants to go out again on Tuesday, but I don't know.  I don't want to waste my time or anyone elses.  Maybe it was because he was so late?

Speed Dating

What fun!  Last night I tried "speed dating" for the first time.  I went to a pub in Drexell Hill that had the bottom floor reserved for us.  It was a small crowd because it was the Thursday before Labor Day weekend and people are busy.  But, what an interesting time.  The girls are seated at a table and the guys rotate around for an 8 minute "interview".  If there is chemistry and you would like to talk to them further, you put their name on a card at the end of the event.  If they did the same then the matchmaker email's each of you information on how to contact the other person.  I should mention that this speed date was for the age range of 40-55.

I had one guy who was very interesting that I have to tell about.  His name is Randy. He has brunette hair that is greying at the sides.  He is about 100 pounds overweight and is very open about his low-carb diet.  We did the 8 minute interview and I asked him his age.  He made me guess and when I said around 52, he got REALLY offended.  He says that most people think he is 35!!  NOT!!  I asked him what he does?  He's an actor.  full-time.  Then he tells me that he performs on webisodes.  That's his living.  He told me that he had a part in "Sex in the City" and wanted to know if I watched that show?  I said, no I was overseas during all that and that show didn't fly over there.  He got really offended by that!!  What a narcissist!!  He started telling me that he usually plays younger roles because he has such a baby face.  This guy looks just like Chaz Bono, I'm not kidding.  No chin.  And, definitely not a baby face.  I was like dude, c'mon....really?  lol

There was this one guy that I seemed to hit it off with named Chris.  He is a little geographically undesirable.  He lives in Deptford, NJ.  That would mean crossing the Ben Franklin bridge for me if I ever ventured over to his neighborhood.  You know how I feel about bridges and heights.  I'd have to have a Xanax just to get over it.  After the event I went upstairs to the pub.  He followed me up there and asked for my phone number.  I gave it to him and really enjoyed talking to him.  He's in hardware.  I would say there's chemistry there.  I would have never found him online because he is out of my age range that I have listed in my searches.  He says that he's 52, and I have to say that he was really good looking.  However, he didn't put my name down as a match because the email that the matchmaker sent didn't list him.  But, I did get a text from him this morning.  So, I don't know.  Maybe he'll text again or call?  We'll see, if not that's ok.  I did enjoy talking to him and it did show me that I can feel attracted to someone again.  Haven't felt that since June.