Wednesday, August 3, 2011

This is just too good not to write down.....

I received notification on Aug 1 that my divorce was final as of July 26, 2011. I am free from the "bonds of matrimony". So, here I am in my mid 40s and meeting men again. Not only am I meeting men, but I am also meeting men of a different culture. The northeast. When I've shared some of the things that have happened and been said to me with my friends, the only appropriate response seems to be, "Oh NO he didn't!!!". Several people have said, you gotta write this down. It's just too funny.  I'm not going to use anyone's real name because I don't feel it would be appropriate.  I'm going to try and come up with aliases/nicknames the best I can.  So buckle up kiddos here we go......

It is Wednesday today.  I dropped the girls off on Sunday nite at their Dad's for his week.  That leaves me single all week.  I started Sunday nite off with 3 dates lined up for this week.

I had talked to this guy whom we shall call Rob on the phone a couple of times and we've texted off and on for about a week.  He lives an hour and a half away in Maryland and we agreed to meet in Exton on Sunday night at 6:30.  I explained to him that this would be wonderful for me because Sunday night's are really difficult since I hand the girls over and that it would give me something to look forward to.  Everything was great.  Friday night, he texted me around 9pm and wanted to play a "game".  Ok.  He texts that we should ask each other 10 questions each.  I went along but thought it was bizarre/juvenile.  After such questions as "What's your favorite flower?  What's your favorite color?  What's your favorite movie? etc." This game ended close to 11pm and everything was fine.  I thought.  Didn't hear from him Saturday.  Sunday rolls around didn't hear from him all day.  Finally, at 5pm, an hour and half before we are to meet, he texts me and says he "doesn't want to do the drive".  NEXT!

I had been texting back and forth with a guy for about a week that we will call Steve.  Steve was very enthusiastic about meeting.  Since, I "had" plans for Sunday night, I agreed to meet him at an upscale restaurant in Dtown for Monday night.  He kept sending me texts telling me that he was very excited.  At noon, he sent me a text saying "7 more hours!".  His enthusiasm was very positive but there was something in my gut kind of scaring me.  I was thinking, "WOW!  I feel a lot of pressure.  What if I don't live up to this guys expectations?"  He texted me that he would be waiting in the parking lot.  Our date was for 7, he texted at 6:45 saying he was already there.  I'm thinking, I like this guy.  So, I pulled into the parking lot at 7 in my white Chevy SUV.  He is sitting there in a black Volkswagon Touareg.  I parked in the spot next to him and rolled my window down.  He says, "I just got a call that my daughter has been taken to the hospital.  I have to go."  Something in my gut was like, "uh-huh".  So, I get a text from him after 9:30pm saying his daughter had been in a car accident and had a broken leg.  He then texted that he was on his way home and would I like company.  I texted back that I was already in bed but I would love to talk to him.  Never called.  Next night I texted and asked how his daughter was doing (yeah, right) and he said that she was fine that he had just left from being with his children.  I asked if he was still interested in meeting me?  He took a long time to text back and said "yes, but I need to spend some time with my daughter."  NEXT!!

So, I have been texting this guy off and on since November last year.  Every now and then I would hear from him.  So, we agreed to finally meet.  I would drive to Kennett Square and we would meet in a public location.  We never set a time.  I kept waiting for the exact location and time, but he never came forth with the information.  So, Tuesday rolls around and I texted if we were still meeting and he texted yes.  Ok.  What time?  He didn't know.  5:00 rolls around he's still at work.  I'm waiting.  Nothing.  6:45, I texted and he's still at work.  He can't leave because he discovered a virus on his PC.  I get a text at 7:30 saying he's home.  By that point, I said, why don't we make it another nite?  He texted OK. 

3 dates that didn't happen.  So, I ended up chatting last night with a guy we'll call George.  He grew up in this area and lives near where I work.  He seemed like a nice guy so I gave him my number to text.  Everything was fine and he asked if he could call me?  I said yes.  So, here's where it gets interesting.  He said he wanted to ask me a few questions.  No problem.  "So, do you like the 3 stooges?"  OH NO HE DIDN'T!!  Gentlemen, please make a little note here.  While you may find the 3 stooges absolutely hilarious, I don't know a woman on the planet that likes them.  George goes on to tell me that there is a stooge-atorioum in the area that is open once a month and he likes to visit that museum.  NOT Sexy!!!  Then, he wanted to know what sports teams I follow.  When I explained that I don't, he was quite taken aback.  Later, he suggested lunch.  I said ok.  He then proceeded to tell me how he would pick something up and we could go for a picnic.  I explained that I am a lab rat and in a cool air conditioned cubicle all day and would not enjoy being in 90+ temps eating outside.  Ok.  He'll just grab our lunch and pick me up in his Quad-4 (whatever the hell that is) and we can eat under his A/C blasting.  I explained to him that it is my personal policy not to get in the vehicles of strangers.  He was like, "I'm not gonna run off with you!"  I said, "Would you like your sister to get in the car of a stranger for lunch?"  No.  I said I would be happy to meet him in a public restaurant in the area.  We'll see what happens.  Probably nothing.

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