Thursday, April 25, 2013

Lost interest

Well, what can I tell you?  Ron is a really nice guy.  Turns out his an Eagle Scout leader.  Has been for many years.  Why have I lost interest?  Well, here's what happened.....

On our second date, we met at the same place for dinner.  He showed up with flowers which I loved. It was all good.  We had a nice dinner and the waitress brought the check.  We continued to talk and she kept coming to the table asking if she could get us anything else?  She came by THREE more times asking?  In other words, she wanted to be paid and it was fairly obvious.  He didn't do anything but just sit there.  After the third time, I finally just grabbed the black puffy folder and laid a $50 in there.  He said nothing.  Nothing.  Ooooooo-kay.

He was very very awkward walking me to my car which I would later find out that this is because he has only been out on 3 dates after his marriage ended 6 years ago.  I had sprained my ankle the day before and was walking slow.  He knew this.  In spite of that he sped up ahead of me and didn't realize that I wasn't keeping up with him until I gave a little holler.  Once we got to my car, as I said he was really really awkward.  No kiss which was fine.

So I really want to give the guy a chance in spite of making me pay for our date.  He called the next day and wanted to go to the shooting range.  Ok, great idea!  So, I told him to find one half way between his place and mine and we'll go.  He had A LOT of trouble doing this even after I suggested that he google locations.  I finally ended up googling it myself and giving him the numbers to call so that he can find out the hours.  On Saturday, he called with a place and started telling me the range rental fee.  I can only imagine that he is doing this because he again wants me to pay for our date.  You can hear the breaks squealing now, "ERRRRRRRRR".

So, I again gave him the benefit of the doubt since he has little dating experience and asked him if he would like to go dutch on this excursion?  He said no.  So, I asked him why he would tell me this information (range rental fee, gun rental fee, etc)?  I am well aware of what going to the shooting range cost.  So he says he was just repeating what the lady told him.  I felt very uneasy at this point.  I'm not sure how to describe it.  I had no desire to go out with him, but again decided to give him the benefit of the doubt due to his lack of experience in dating.  We then had a discussion and I explained to him that if he asks me out on a date, then I expect to be treated.  I also told him that I am not interested in being a "buddy".  He said that he understood and that he felt bad about letting me buy dinner on the 2nd date.

In the midst of all this, he apologized for being so awkward and says that he would like to kiss me.  I said ok that's fine.  He made this huge deal out of it.  Really built this up.  Wanted to see me.  What am I doing tomorrow? So, I told him that I will be going into Lancaster for some shopping on Sunday.  He said he would like to take me to lunch.  Ok.  We go to Cracker Barrel.  He bought me a nice lunch and walked me to my car.  I'm thinking he is going to kiss me after the big build up.  Well, he kissed me with a closed mouth several times.  Probably 6 times.  Never really kissed me per se.  Very bizarre.

So, I had dinner with him one time during the following week.  It was nice.  We walked around and I showed him a house that I wanted to buy a while back but didn't.  He walked me to my car and then he kissed me.  I had a lot of anxiety about it to be honest since he put it off for so long.

So, a few days later, he would like to "meet" me.  Now that I think about it, he worded it that way.  Maybe I should have understood then?  So, I agreed to "meet" him on Sunday evening after I took my kids to their Dad's.  I got there early and ordered an appetizer and a glass of wine.  He finally showed up and he ordered a glass of water.  He had a small rectangular box that he sort of tossed in front of me.  I did not really acknowledge the box as the way it was presented was more like a dog dropping his bone in front of me.  He eventually said, "that box is for you".  I opened it and he had bought me a sweet little necklace made out of black mother-of-pearl when he had gone to the beach with his Mom a few days earlier.  I was very impressed and thought it very thoughtful.  We stayed there talking a bit and I ordered another glass of wine.  He continued drinking water.  The waitress (in this same restaurant that we initially met in as well as date #2) brought the check.  So far so good.  Eventually it was around 8:30 and I said that I really needed to be going.  He did not offer to take the check or anything.  So, I paid the $20 for my 2 glasses of wine and we left.  He had parked next to me.  Walked me to my car and he wanted to make out like teenagers.  8-|  I don't know.  I was not comfortable with the whole thing.  It disturbed me greatly that he let me pay my check in spite of the conversation we had just had less than 2 weeks ago.

In the meantime, he had decided that he wanted to take me to the Pocono's this Saturday since I've never been.  Then, I find out that he has booked a room at the Days Inn for an over night trip.  Turkey season opens up that day and after he's done hunting, he wants to take me to the Pocono's.  And, stay at the Days Inn.  For those out there who don't know, the Pocono's is a well known honeymoon destination.  They have lots of cabins, bed-n-breakfast's, romantic type places to stay, etc.  I'm not sure that the Days Inn in this particular town is considered a romantic destination as it is right off the turnpike.  He told me he googled "MO-TELS".  I suspect it is a truck driver stop over.

When questioned as to why he would allow me to pick up the check on a date yet again especially after our conversation about it, I found out that he "was not thinking about it".  He said that his stomach hurt and that's why he only drank water.  He says that he was nervous.  He says that he just didn't think about paying for my wine because he was thinking about kissing me goodbye in the parking lot.  He told me that 4 years ago he filed bankruptcy.  He told me that his ex left him in a "bad situation" over 6 years ago, blah blah blah.

I don't know.  I'm just not feeling it.  I have lost interest to be honest.


  1. I dated someone who "just didn't think" for 2 years. Not worth the time and they don't change. Sounds like a nice guy, but not your prince. Sorry!

  2. What has been interesting to my network of friends is that he felt absolutely nothing about letting me buy his dinner and pay for my drinks. No guilt. No embarrassment. Nada. Personally, if I were a man in this position I would have been embarrassed and ashamed.