It's Just Lunch

On February 13, I went on ahead and joined the IJL.  It turns out that the membership director is from West Memphis.  She moved there after high school and her Mom owned Sharon's lounge.  She is now in Ohio but it was nice to reminisce about the big town. 

She had her heart set on me meeting this person named "Lon".  It just didn't happen.  Here is the email that I sent to her:

Lisa and Catherine,

I just wanted to address a concern that I have regarding my membership at "It's Just Lunch".
I joined on Feb 13, and was supposed to have my first lunch date on March 2. 
Unfortunately, that has fallen through (documented 2 times, but in actuality this is the 4th time). 
Because I share 50% custody of my children
with my ex-husband, I am only available every other week.  If we do not arrange for a
lunch date this week (Feb 27-March 3), then my next available week will be March 12-17.
This would put an entire month behind me once joining and before going on my first date.

I guess I don't understand why if Lon has to reschedule that we can't get someone else
for this week/ weekend?  Realizing that it is Tuesday, I think it's possible.  I'm not tied to
Lon am I?  Surely there is someone that we can fit in before the Lon date?

I can't help but feel that I have fallen through the cracks, so to speak or put on the back burner.

Thanks so much,
Ginger

So, she called on Wed night and told me that my first lunch date would be with Mike on Sunday at noon.  I will spare you all the details and forward you the feedback that I gave Lisa and Catherine.  This is my response to Lisa's email asking for feedback:

Meeting: Mike and Ginger

3/4 @ 12pm 

Brickside Grille

540 Wellington Square
Exton, PA 19341

 (610) 321-1600

We are so excited for you to meet them and hope you have a great time!

When you get there, as a reminder, check in with the Hostess and they will take you to your table.   If you are running late or need to cancel at the last minute, please call ahead to the restaurant!

Feedback is very important to our IJL dating process so please don’t forget to email me with your feedback. These are the areas we would like you to focus on when you send your feedback:

1. How long your date was? 1.5 hours

 

2. What did you like about him/her?  He has nice thick hair.

3. What are three positive things about your match?

a.  He has really nice thick hair.
b.  He was a nice conversationalist.
c.  He had a nice complexion.

 

4. What interests did you have in common?

a.  We both read a lot of non-fiction.
b.  We both have daughters.
c.  We both like older homes.
 

 

5. What was your first impression?

I had a very positive first impression.

6. How did the date end?

 

He went to the bathroom and came back to the table.  We walked outside (he did NOT open the door for me).  He gave me a very loose hug like you do your Mom or Aunt.  He walked to his car and I walked to mine.  I did not see his car as he parked a great deal away.

7. Did you exchange numbers?

He did not ask for my number.  So, no we did not exchange numbers.

8. Do you plan on seeing him/her again? If “no” please list reasons why?

No.  There's just no way to sugar coat this.  Mike is a cheapskate.  He ordered ala carte instead of the Sunday buffet stating that it was "overwhelming".  He was hesitant to even order ala carte stating that he had already eaten.  And, he talked a lot about how he saved money installing his hardwood floors by having the shop teacher at school do it.  Now, I know times are hard and all, but seriously.  When he shared with me how he takes his daughter on excursions with his metal detector it became apparent to me that we have a different lifestyle. 

Also, it is worth mentioning Mike's eating habits.  I'm pretty sure that he has dentures.  If not, then he has a serious eating issue.  It was like watching a horse eat a carrot.  All teeth.  And, then he stuck his index finger in his mouth to dig something out of the side between his cheek and upper teeth.  Ewwww.  He was eating scrambled eggs.

For the entire lunch date, Mike sat with his back against the wall of the booth with one arm across the back of the seat and the other arm spread out on the table as if between me and him (not sure if that makes sense).  He had his right leg bent on the seat.  His body language was very guarded and his body did not face me once during the date.  He was very awkward in this way as he sat catty-corner to me the entire time.

9. What can we focus on for your next match?

I think maybe someone a little taller.  Mike is a very petite man with little hands and short arms.  Also, I make it a personal policy to not go out with men who make less money than me.  I have had very bad experiences with this in my single life.  Men are very competitive by nature and it just doesn't work.  Also, I tend to be attracted to more generous men.  Stingy men are just a deal breaker for me.  And, manners (open the door for crying out loud, chew with your mouth closed, etc) are a must.

Idea I'm toying with

I haven't been on here in a long time.  I just read my last post and boy was I down!  I'm ok right now.  I haven't been on a date in probably 5 months and I'm good with just being alone right now.  I don't feel particularly lonely.  I just decided that online dating was just not for me.

After a little bit of research, I discovered that women in their mid 40s are overrun in the populace.  Apparently, men in their mid 40s prefer to date women in their 30s and even 20s.  So, generally speaking, since men prefer much younger women, I should target the men in their 50s.  I would probably have a better chance with that than men my own age because I'd be competing with 30 somethings.  But, there is the matter of going too much older than me.  Once men hit 55 they are concerned with retirement and not putting 3 kids through college.....probably not a good match.

With that in mind, when I was on an airplane recently I picked up the airline magazine and read about "It's Just Lunch".  I'd had it mentioned to me by my friend, Amy as well.  After I called them and found out how much they charge, I was very hesitant.  They charge a small fortune for their membership.  Plus, there are so many scams in that industry. 

But, then I got to thinking, the high cost of this service will mean that the married men and players are going to be weeded out.  They say they run a background check on these men and if there are any sexual related crimes or domestic violence crimes on their record they are denied membership.  Could that be true?

So, they have a list of restaurants that they are partnered with in the area.  I am going to call those restaurants and see if they indeed work with IJL and how frequently they have guests before I decide anything.  I will let you know.  If you have any suggestions, please comment!!!